Looking to Become a Gay Father?
If you're thinking about becoming a gay or queer father, you've probably already realized something that few people talk about: There is no roadmap!
Before committing thousands of dollars to a particular pathway, it can help to speak with someone who understands gay fatherhood from both research and lived experience.
Adoption, surrogacy, foster care, and co-parenting each involve different financial, legal, practical, and emotional realities.
I've lived this journey myself.
I pursued both surrogacy and adoption with my husband. I wish I had been able to speak with someone who understands the process before I began. Good advice at the right time could have saved us years, money, and grief.
I'm also one of Canada's leading researchers on gay fatherhood. My doctoral research and peer-reviewed publications examine how gay men become fathers, the barriers they encounter, and the choices they face. I have interviewed prospective and current gay fathers across Canada and studied adoption and surrogacy in depth.
What I've learned is that becoming a father is about more than choosing a pathway.
It's about building a family that reflects your values.
What can we explore together?
Which pathway best fits your goals, finances, and circumstances?
What challenges should you anticipate?
What questions should you ask lawyers, fertility clinics, agencies, and other professionals?
How can you prepare for the financial, emotional, and relational challenges of becoming a father?
What kind of father do you want to become?
What clients say:
“Adopting our three-year-old Indigenous son through the public adoption system was a long and complicated experience. We had to navigate adoption readiness, homestudies, background checks, training, paperwork, and years of uncertainty before we were matched. Sol’s guidance helped us understand and prepare for each stage and navigate the uncertainty of the process. We also thought more deeply about what it would mean to raise an Indigenous child as two white gay fathers. Sol’s combination of research, practical knowledge, and lived experience gave us a much clearer understanding of the process and helped us feel far more prepared for the realities of becoming a family.” - Alan, adoptive father
“Sol’s advice and support helped me navigate and better understand parts of the legal, financial, and emotional aspects of the process. Additionally, the advice given helped me understand what it exactly my role would be. My decision would not be a decision made lightly, but one that could have ongoing repercussions throughout my life as it would have both an effect on my current relationships and future relationships.” - John, donor and co-parent
An informed start can save you time, money, and uncertainty.
Fertility specialists, lawyers, adoption agencies, and other professionals are essential to the journey—and their services can become expensive quickly.
I don't provide medical or legal advice, and I don't replace these professionals. I help you understand the landscape, ask better questions, avoid common mistakes, and make more informed decisions before making major commitments.
Drawing on academic research, professional expertise, and my own experience as a queer adoptive parent, I can help you:
understand the differences between adoption, surrogacy, and other pathways;
identify the right questions to ask lawyers, fertility clinics, agencies, and other professionals;
anticipate challenges before you're already committed;
think through the financial, practical, relational, and emotional dimensions of different pathways; and
approach your next steps with greater knowledge and confidence.
Whether you're just beginning to imagine fatherhood or already pursuing adoption or surrogacy, I offer evidence-based guidance grounded in academic research, professional expertise, and lived experience.
You don't have to navigate the journey alone.
Let's build a path toward the family you've been dreaming about.